Board Sports - Bored Sports 09/09/2009
 By The Urban Athlete Last night I saw news coverage of Snowboarding. My gosh these freaks are right down the bottom of the food chain. In evolution terms these ferals are somewhere in the amphibious region. They interviewed a couple of these Freaks. One sort of barked like a dog & had blood on his head. He seemed pretty excited about something. I think he was a New Zealander. As for what he was talking about? Sorry, I couldn't work it out. I knew this greasy & frost bitten bunch, were on the feral side, somewhere between surfers & skateboard dudes. Somewhere in the: "sort of a sport, sort of not " realm, but OMG!... not humans! They even gave these greasers the weather condition report. It contained the vital information that it in fact had been snowing, but it will melt later in the day. NO SHIT!!! Who knew that snow melts? Now if these dudes can turn on the TV, but don't know that snow melts, yet can fly through the sky like a (damn ugly) bird, they might be on to something? As an ex-surfer I have always had a slight interest in extreme sports. We all know, you have to be slightly crazy to take on mother nature, but we all secretly want to "ave a go". Extreme sports are not really good viewing on TV though. You can't critique performance in the same way, the stats are boring & it's not really man against man. Surfing is one example where I think it is impossible to judge athletes on their abilities. In competition, you get your allotted time. You're out there, you show them what you can do. But sometimes you just get crap waves or no waves & the dude after you just gets lucky and gets a good few waves even though he's a complete kook.( Luckily you can hit him later.) Points are given by the judges, for technical difficulty etc, much like figure skating, but it all depends on the judge's opinions as opposed to actual goals that we can all see. Kite surfing has taken off in a huge way. It makes sense. We have plenty of wind here on the West Coast, but our waves suck and are getting suckier. No snow, to be seen at all. The only dowside I can see is the sheer amount of shit you need to do the bloody kite thing. Take a drive along the river & look at these dudes piling shit, after piece of shit onto the lawn. I don't know about you, but if something takes me 45mins to set it up, I'm over it. Do you get to have a 5min ride, before sunset? Then you have to store this shit somewhere when you get home too. Why on earth don't they have them for hire down the beach? Or even Umbrellas for hire for that matter. How do we rate these athletes then? How about the pulling power on the opposite sex? How do these board sport guys stack up to team sport guys?....Ok, Surfers have a nice tan now (face like a brown paper bag in the future), Footy boys have to hang in larger packs, less desirable for the average lady, as more competition for their time but not all women, we know some like to date a "pack". Surfers are usually stoned, Footballers hit the party drugs. Not such a party when those fuckers come down from it. Surfers need to take off for waves at short notice. Footy guys do their thing same time each week, but that's every single week, all season! Footy guys have more potential to make money from their sport, but, chances are they are sharing it around on more than one girlfriend too. Hmmn.. No clear winner. One thing is for sure they are pulling more than the gamers, no one likes a pimple covered, pale jelly belly living in a pile of KFC boxes......except their mums. I suppose the clear winner is whomever does his own washing :) CommentsLeave a Reply | AuthorBlog Authors: 
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